Malaysian oh malaysian

To the world, the ethnic chinese, indian and malay in Malaysia are called Malaysian and speak one common language - Manglish. To my surprise, there are still Malaysian (chinese xD) who can't differentiate between a Malay and an Indian.

During the Ramandan month, a guy walk passed me and talk to an Indian who held a drink in her hand and asked: "Hei, you tak puasa kah?" "No... noo... nooo..." she replied with exaggeration on the word "no" and with diminishing tone, speechless. They are university students I have to stressed that.

Today, out of sudden our lecturer just asked: "Where is the only Indian guy in our class? Oh, there he is!" he pointed to the only Malay guy who was sitting in front of me. I saw him buried his face to the table, he must be laughing his ass off :D

Though we are Malaysian, some of us are like foreigners to each other. Just like the German cannot differentiate between a chinese and a japanese. When I first arrived in Germany, there were people sawing me and greeted me: "Konnichiwa". After 2 years in Germany, I can differentiate among Russian, German,  English and American. What puzzled me, is that some Malaysian, who live for about 2 to 3 decades in Malaysia, cannot differentiate an Indian and a Malay...

Dreams

Most malaysian had dreamed of furthering their studies overseas after their secondary school. I was  the lucky one who had the chance and yet I failed it. The failure is undoubtedly painful and bitter. Imagined if you had a hypocrite father who kept consoling you while talking in phone but cursing behind your back. When I reached home, he tried to find every reason to blame me and he even put blame on my brothers =.= I am so sick of this, during last five years, whenever I went back home for holidays, there was no happy atmosphere.

With some savings from overseas account, I simply applied for a local private university and left home within a month. Well, now I have settled down and realised that the university is not bad at all. Perhaps I am more suitable to study in local university xD

Occasionally I still have some weird dreams which sent me in confusion between reality and virtual.  I remembered that last weeks I had dreamed of me wandering in desert alone in the night, exhausted and cold. I slept in a sleeping bag near a campfire and woke up finding me on my bed. This dream repeated two times last week, I loled whenever I thought of this dream... There were a lot more weird and funny dreams which I had forgotten because I did not jot them down...

怎么会这样？

最近又像考试前的那样---失眠了。放弃了这里的一切，我告别了压力，应该高兴才对，应该能睡个好觉才是。可是脑海里却一直想起这里的人和事，一宿都睡不着。

我什么时候还能与朋友们相聚，什么时候还能看到美丽的下雪的夜晚，什么时候还能逛逛圣诞市场，吃一吃那热烘烘的烤杏仁，什么时候还能感受滑雪时的刺激，什么时候还能吃到土豆沙拉，什么时候我还会有这样的机会。。。

想起了老师对我说的一句话：“应该把奖学金给更有资格的人。”我不完全否定这句话。因为我说放弃就放弃的性格，五年的时光和努力都付诸东流。一切得重新开始。

到现在还是很茫然，未来的路该怎么走？主啊，求您在这黑暗中赐我一盏明灯。阿门。